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User Guides > Contacting Members >

Winks, Cards & Flirts

Making the first step in contacting another member can seem daunting at first, the worry over whether there will be mutual interest, or if they will turn out to be how you hope, but perhaps the main worry people have is what to say to break the ice. This is where winks, cards and flirts come in.

With these three features, you do not have to put together what to say - they are all fun and simple ways of simply letting a person know you are interested by them and to get them to notice you and view your profile. Read on for more details on how to use these wonderful dating tools..


To send a wink to someone, the first step is to find a person you are interested in. For this example we will pick someone from the 'Your new matches' section on the home page of our account. You may find people through searching, viewing the newest member list or by using the browse tab, the wink will work in the same way regardless.

A. Either expand the quick view of the member by hovering your mouse over their photo, or just click to view their full profile page:

hover over member picture expands the view

B. On the expanded view there is a link 'send a wink' (as circled above) , on the profile page it is titled 'wink' and is located just below the person's profile picture.

C. Click either of these links and your wink will be sent - it's as simple as that! The recipient will be informed that you have winked at them, leading them to view your profile and perhaps start contacting you in other ways.


These are very similar to winks, however they let you add a bit of personality into things by choosing the design of card that you want to send. Here's how to send a card to your potential future date..

A. As for the wink, find the person you want to send your card to and either view their full profile or expand the quick view.

B. Click either 'send a card' or 'card' depending on which option you used from step A.

C. On the cards page, browse the selection of interesting designs that we have, and pick the one that fits the message that you want to convey, be it funny, romantic or something more. Click the circle above the design you want to select it:

click in the circle to select the card of your choice

D. Scroll to the bottom of the page, and then click the 'send' button - the recipient will be notified that you have sent a card, and they will be able to view the design that you chose. They will then know you are interested and may choose to view your profile or contact you back in some way.


These are a bit different to the two previous dating ice-breakers in that there are two ways in which to use them and one of those ways puts you out there to be seen by everyone rather than just targeting a single other member.

The first way to use the flirt feature is to flirt back with someone who has added themselves to the list of 'flirts'. It's easiest to understand by going through how it works so please read on..

A. Click the 'Flirts' tab on the main navigation to open the flirts page:

the flirt tab in the navigation

B. You will now see a main picture of another Enable Dating member, along with the option to 'flirt' or 'not now'. Choosing 'not now' will move on to the next person - the people you see have opted in to be shown in this promoted way to other members by becoming a 'flirt'.

C. Find someone you like the look of? Now simply click the 'flirt' button and they will be notified that you have responded to their flirt, who knows where it may lead?

We said before there were two ways to use this feature, by now you have probably guessed the second way - yes that is right - you too can become a flirt! Here's how..

A. Click the 'flirted with me' tab within the flirts section:

the flirted with me tab in the sub navigation

B. Now you will need to upload a photo of yourself - something flirty! Click 'choose' to open the file browser and select the photo on your computer that you wish to use. Now click the 'upload' button.

C. That's it! You are now a 'flirt' and you will appear in the flirts list of our other members of the gender that you are looking to connect with. If they like what they see then you will receive notifications that they have flirted with you!

So there you have three great online dating tools that allow you to easily and informally make contact with other people, all without needing to worry about what words to say to make the right impression. Once you begin to get responses from these methods you can move on to using our email and chat features to delve deeper and to get to know people better.